How To Care About People

I can not tell you how many times I've met with a client who had a real challenge to be an inspirational leader. Usually began bypassing the feedback received (anonymously or not) of their colleagues, who say they are inspired by him, or even motivated. Of course it's easy to complain, especially about your boss, but underlying much of this information was often the subject that people just did not feel like he cared about 'em.

"No," replied the customer sometimes. "God help me, I've tried to care for a couple of these people, but not me."

If you really do not care about a person, it is impossible to show any empathy, much less respect. And without these fundamentals that good things never inspire others. That's why I've taken the inspirational leadership, with empathy as a cornerstone, the foundation of my coaching practice.

Often the problem is that the client feels his companions (at least a couple of cases) do not care enough about their work, or have not handled the challenges as well as he did, or for some other reason discovers that he can 't relate to them. He did not respect them. And he's too busy trying to "manufacture" a false good care of fluffy-bunny happiness of all.

I can identify with that. I've had people on my team who were very difficult to respect, much less care. In particular had problems with employees who lie, cheat and steal ... but there is a difference between such unpleasant (you only have to be disciplined to completion) and the type of person who still have not found their motivation. As a business owner (or leader of the business unit), I have to do everything possible to motivate my people, and to inspire, if possible.

If you fight carefully, you realize you're not alone ... which is a common problem among the leaders, and I think the problem is growing in these days when the weather around the world and emotional energy are much more leveraged. But when someone really makes it difficult to care for them, and you feel you must try to do it anyway, consider this: You can not have done what they have done or reacted the way they have reacted, but have been his way of feeling.

Years ago, one of my brilliant colleagues made the observation that there are really only four basic human emotions: Mad, sad, happy, and (the emotion does not rhyme) Scared. Recently, people in need of a theme doctoral research has been conducted to explore the different lists, but if you think about it, common sense will tell you that all forms of feeling can be collapsed into four cubes. And everything felt intensely at some point in their lives.

So maybe difficult to care for person on your team is doing around a chip on his shoulder. Maybe he's angry about something (not likely in our world today?), I can not get over it. Have you ever felt this way? If so, may not be able to relate to his actions, but can empathize with their feelings. You can say things like "I see you're upset, and I've been there ... it's not fun," without implying that you agree with their thinking or tolerate their behavior.

And here comes the magic part: if you can see clearly to start saying things like it, you may find that your thinking and behavior begin to change. It is quite common.

Empathy is not a magic wand, and you can not rely on the statements of sincere empathy to turn around each disk of your computer case. But I would not give a person before I tried it. It costs nothing, and if you only help, for example, 10% of the general bad behavior of his team to go, well worth it! And I've never seen him empathy in such a low number. You will probably find that works wonders ... free.

by Michael D. Hume, MS

Michael Hume is a speaker, writer and consultant specializing in helping people to maximize their potential and enjoy an inspiring life. As part of its mission of inspiring leadership that coaches executives and leaders in the growth of their personal sense of well being through wealth creation and management, along with personal vitality.

Michael and his wife, Kathryn, divides his time between homes in California and Colorado. They are very proud of their children, which grew to include a housewife, a rock star, a talent service, and an expert on television. Two grandchildren also warm their hearts!

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